Gumtree Gumtree

EVER BOUGHT SOMETHING ridiculous on a whim? For instance, an old typewriter that you truly had no use for and is now gathering dust on a bookshelf. Or an ironic t-shirt that seemed hilarious at the time, but you really wouldn’t be caught dead in.

Kobie Hughes, an Australian mother, has put up a rather hilarious Gumtree ad for a bassinet she bought during a moment of madness.

We really need to sell this lovely bassinet that I bought in a whimsical moment in early pregnancy when I thought being pregnant would be a holy, other worldly experience and had images of myself, glowing and slim, dressed in long white flowing dresses whilst I rocked my angelic baby in a white, wicker cradle.

She wrote that the 100-year-old bassinet “was designed in a time when babies were men, and those man-babies didn’t need no comfy, flat, safe cradles to sleep”.

Co-sleeping? Pffttt… Put a blanket in a cauldron and those man-babies will have water boiling for your morning cuppa when you get up to feed them.

After discovering that they actually aren’t all that practical or safe in 2016, she realised she had made a big mistake. Huge.

Word of warning: midwives hate it. The old-fashioned design of the bassinet is such that, upon seeing it, a Community Nurse will let out a squeal of dismay.

As for who might like to purchase it? Women with doll issues.

Gumtree Gumtree

And, as Hughes explains, it’s pretty important that somebody buys it quick.

After getting fat, bloated, sweaty and flatulent; discovering babies only smelled nice depending on whether you sniffed them before or after a wee/ poo/ vomit/ washing between their fat rolls and finding that I was too busy feeding/ trying to get my baby to sleep to entertain fantasies of being a stunning Gaia Earth Mother I now need to sell so I can afford a haircut (easier then washing it at the moment).

Unvarnished honesty. We like it.

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